SCIENCE JOKES- Can you get them all?

Science is a subject with an immense amount of knowledge and experiments spanning over millions of books and billions of pages. It has the ability to put you to sleep faster than chloroform. Understanding a concept can easily make you pull your hair off and bald in a few hours! If you do get those concepts, there’s always a chance for it to get outdated or opposed at. What we miss in all this hara-kiri is the true essence of learning, having fun with it. These science jokes require logic and can crack you up; also they are a break from the usual PJ’s.

1. Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer, the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here.” He doesn’t react.

2. A physicist, engineer and a statistician are out hunting. Suddenly, a deer appears 50 yards away. The physicist does some ballistic calculations, assuming a vacuum, lifts his rifle to a specific angle, and shoots. The bullet lands 5 yards short. The engineer adds a fudge factor for air resistance, lifts his rifle slightly higher, and shoots. The bullet lands 5 yards long. The statistician yells “We got him!”

3. I was reading a book on anti-gravity. It was very difficult to put down.

4. Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Do you all want something to drink?”

The first one says, “I don’t know!” The second one says, “I don’t know!” The third one says, “Yes!”

5. I recently got my doctorate in palindromes. I’m now addressed as Dr.Awkward

6. Never trust an atom. They make up everything.

7. SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM SODIUM BATMAN!

8. A logician’s wife is having a baby. The doctor hands over the newborn to the dad. The wife asks “Boy or girl?”

The logician replies, “Yes”

9. Two scientists walk into a restaurant, the first says, “I’ll have H20” and the second one says, “I’ll have H20 too!” He died.

10. I tried to tell a chemistry joke at school the other day. No reaction.

11. How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce unionized.

12. A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, “Five beers, please.”

13. A Buddhist monk walks up to a salad bar and asks, “Make me one with everything.”

14. The programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.”

The programmer returns with 12 loaves of bread.

15. Oxygen and Potassium went on a date yesterday; I heard it went ‘OK’.

                                                                                                     -Prakhyat Mathur.